プレイリスト

一 ❅
二 ❅
三 ❅

I. II. III. IV. V.

atatakami:

              <sub>She ignores the offer. There is something else she would like to ask of him, instead.

                                   ☀ —- ” … Kaito-kun. “ Clandestine words, nearly lost in the gentle roar of the fan. “Tell me something.”

                It is with this that she rolls over the stares not at him, but blankly at the wall across from them both.</sub> 

                                 _{☀ —-  “ Have you ever woken up and felt nothing but disappointment? Disappointment in maybe the fact that you’re awake. But not the kind of disappointment where you’re upset that it’s seven a.m. and your alarm is going off and you have to go to work and be the responsible adult you are. Not disappointed just because you’re sleepy. Disappointed because you’re…exhausted. Of the same old routine day and day again. The kind of disappointment that you closed your eyes and had to open them again. I’ve been feeling like that a lot, lately. ” She pauses, traces circles in bed sheets with a single index finger. ” I never once wanted to die. But sometimes, if a car was coming my way, I’m not sure if I’d move. “}

_{He hangs on her every word, dread growing with each sylable uttered. Her tone sets him off before her words do, but her final declaration sets him over the cliff’s edge. It feels like that, literally – his stomach drops as if he were falling through space. His heart pounds to hard, until he can feel it in his teeth, of all places.}

     _{❄~ "Miku …”}

_{She’s admitted something big to him, now. Perhaps something that’s been on her mind for a long time. Perhaps something that’s just begun today. She says she’s been feeling like that a lot, but emotions are tricky things. When overcome with exhaustion, or self-loating, or grief, it’s difficult to remember a time when the emotion was not there, eating at your defenses. But it wasn’t always like that, and he strives to make her remember that.}

     _{❄~ “That would be … a permenant solution to a temporary problem.”}

_{Death doesn’t just stop the bad things. It stops the good things, too. No more frowning also means no more smiling. Really, each laugh is sweeter tasting in the wake of salty tears that came before it. But saying such a thing wouldn’t be right. It’s difficult to think of the sunlight in a storm.}

     _{❄~ “Emotions like this … Are difficult to deal with. It’s easy to think that you’ll never feel anything but tired. The bad in life is big, and scary. It’s easy to think that it outnumbers the good, simply because it’s louder.”}

_{Happiness is gentle sunlight, while sadness is a violent storm. Sadness has thunder and lightning and dark clouds, but that doesn’t mean that the sun has flickered out of existance. It’s simply covered by thick blankets of gray. However, clouds will always dispurse, and the sun always remains in the end.}

     _{❄~ “But there is good, there’s always good. There’s laughing until it hurts and staying up late to talk with friends. And in the end, the good will stay while the bad will only become a memory. And then you’ll be glad that you’re there to see it. Until then …”}

_{His hand hesitates again, but this time it moves forward, gently daring to stroke long hair. Her back is to him, and he wishes he could read the expression on her face.}

     _{❄~ “I’ll be right here beside you, to remind you of that. And I won’t make you pretend it’s okay or tell you that there are easy solutions. But I’ll help you with every step you take.”}